The Slick Adventures of Downtown Girl

Reality Check

Saturday, January 20, 2007 | posted by Kate | permalink | |

Breathe. Just Breathe. Okay, Breathe and Vent.

Okay, so R gives me a call this morning, to say hi and see what I was up to last night. Turns out him and Amy went to the concert and then hit a couple of bars, staying out until 3:30 in the AM.

I am trying very hard to be cool about this but it is extremely hard now. (Lucky for me, I have about 2 hours before he is supposed to pick me up today for this wedding.) I know that I held it together pretty good on the phone. I didn't mind the concert (especially since I went to the one she was supposed to go to!), but he went out drinking with her until 3:30 AM?

I know they are buddies and I know I'm being a bit irrational but I'm quickly sinking into the "If-you-really-loved-me-you-wouldn't-be-out-at-bars-until-3-in-the-morning-with-other-girls" mode of thinking.

(Inner monologue: Jebus. Why is it so hard for me to be COOL? For just once, to be COOL? Damn!)

I am not trying to be a prude or anything

....or maybe I'm no fun because I don't think staying out half the night drinking is cool but ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! I just don't get it. (And I sound like a pirate. Sonofabitch.)

Maybe this is the reality check I needed with him and with where this relationship is. It's early. We're so early into this. I feel like someone just threw a whole bucket of ice water all over me.

Ooooo and now I'm feeling the claws come out. The irrational-I-want-to-kill-that-girl-claws.
Who does she think she is, out until almost 4 am with my boyfriend? I have been so nice to her. So incredibly nice. They could have called and invited me to come out after the concert. Oh, but they didn't. They SO DIDN'T!

Okay, so I have to go put on fancy makeup and put my hair up, and slip into the gorgeous formal clothes I have for this wedding and be his perfect wedding date. OMG I'm totally bugging, you guys. Totally bugging. Big deep breaths and all that jazz. Everything is going to be fine, and even if it is not going to be fine, I know that I am going to be fine.

Kate OUT.