The Slick Adventures of Downtown Girl

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Saturday, January 27, 2007 | posted by Kate | permalink | |

Secret Relationship Wishes

I believe that whether you're conscious of it or not, girls, there is a secret "bonus" list of things that you give inordinate amounts of "relationship points" for if the man you're dating does any of those things or turns out to be any of the things on the list.

This was touched on slightly in "Something about Mary" with the guy being an architect, remember? Everyone's list is different, clearly, so no man reading this should try to use my list as a guide for all girls, however, they may still be a very good idea.

Here is a partial list of the things that I will always flip for. (If R turns out to get most of these things, I just might have to keep him around indefinitely). The more things a man gets in the first year you're together, the more points you give.

He sends flowers (to my WORK) on my birthday
He asks me to slow dance if we're somewhere there is slow dancing. More than once. And he's good at it, or at least being very romantic and sweet.
He plays guitar (second best: drums)
For bonus points, he does the above in a band. That I like.
He buys jewelry of some type for our first Christmas together, even if we've been dating for two seconds.
And the jewelry is appropriate to my tastes and style and isn't "too much."
He brings me orchids (the white ones with the purple petals) for no reason.
He brings me tea roses (the miniature ones, preferably pale pink) for no reason.
He makes sure there is Diet Coke in his fridge for me.
He traces my spine from my neck to my hips with his lips to wake me up in the morning sometimes.
He picks me up at the airport when I get back from trips. (Bonus: Late at night or butt-crack of dawn in the AM)
He lingers after sex, that is, he is willing to lay there with me, our bodies hot, us panting, intertwined.
When he holds me, he pulls me toward him, he squeezes, he breathes a happy sigh in my ear.
He makes excellent eye contact before, during and after sex.
He holds hands when we're walking places.
Bonus: holds hands when we're in the car.
Super Bonuses: holds hands when we're in bed, or on an airplane (because I'm afraid of flying).
He goes out to get stuff when I get sick, and brings back both useful things and things to cheer me up (like popsicles).
He thinks I'm beautiful when I'm sleeping.
He fills our bedroom (or lights the house) solely with tiny tea candles to surprise me (we're talking, 25 or more).
He washes my hair when we're in the shower together.
He'd rent a chick flick movie for me at the video store and then watch it with no complaining or sarcastic comments.
He is clearly in awe when I'm wearing sexy lingerie or a sexy nightie.
He wants to have sex in the shower or bath. (Bonus points: Bubble Bath!)
He doesn't think that taking me to a sporting event is something nice he's doing for ME.
He acts grateful that he has a girlfriend that can go to sporting events and have a good time, but makes no mistake that going is MY first-choice activity.
He thinks I'm hot in workout or gardening clothes.
He takes me on a picnic, somewhere beachy or foresty or lawn-y, complete with picnic basket and a blanket.
Even if he thinks Valentine's Day is stupid, he buys me a sappy card. And flowers.
He thinks my toes are cute (they are sooooo not cute!)
He leaves me tiny love letters in my purse, in my jewelry box, on the counter, where he knows I'd find them.

Clearly, there are times when someone does something wonderful and you never would have thought of it yourself. To that, I say bring it on.

Who else has some secret love wishes? Let's hear it.