Time Flies When They Are Torturing You
Sunday, December 02, 2007 | posted by Kate | permalink | |

Med School Is Heaven and Hell

I can't believe that in a few days, by Dec. 14th, that I will be 1/2 way done with my first year of medical school. Over the past 10 weeks, I have dissected a human person from the tips of her toes to the top of her head. Her name is Doris. She has a perfect superior thyroid artery coming off of her external carotid artery and lacing into the top of her thyroid gland like the threads on a baseball. Her heart is curved and lovely. She had all kinds of fillings in her teeth.

I did poorly on my first test in anatomy, and then improved. A lot. 12% improvement on the practical part (where they tag stuff on the cadavers and ask you what it is) and 18% improvement on multiple choice. I am hoping for even more improvement on the final exams, pending some hard work.

It is extremely difficult, to say the least, to work with the dead so that one day I will be a competent physician for the living. It is amazing, hellish, wonderful, horrible and beautiful all at once. Our culture neatly protects us from real death and medical students get to come face to face with it. Soaked in formaldehyde. Yikes and Wow all at once if you can imagine.

Spending all of this time learning is a little bit lonely---I often don't have much to talk about besides medical school because that is where my brain is, where my focus is, where my energy is spent. People understand, and they don't. I try to stay calm as I observe surgeries where people live and die, where blood spills and we sop it up, where people stand clinging each other in waiting rooms while I stand in the corner of the operating theater trying to figure out how to breathe wearing too-big scrubs and a large face mask.

I dreamed you, I saw your face...

R and I celebrated our one-year dating anniversary in mid-November. He prepared dinner for us and made me a CD of songs that remind him of me, even including an explanation of why he chose them. He bought me beautiful multi-colored roses, and a sweet anniversary card. Some of my favorite songs on the CD include:
We're doing awesome--he's supportive and strong, a safe place I run to when I'm pushed to the limits. He makes me a cup of tea and holds me when I sleep. He packs me a lunch to take to school. He sends me text messages reminding me that I'm doing a good job, that he loves me, that he's thinking of me today.

We spend Sunday mornings together, waking up at 8 or 9 in the am, lingering in bed, getting up and having pancakes and bacon, having a hot shower and then going our separate ways. Our Sunday morning times have been great because we spend time talking and he is doing an amazing job opening up to me.

Since our anniversary, which was a huge declaration of love on his part, I have been falling even more in love with him and feeling very good about things. We're headed home to my parent's house for four days after finals are through, and then spending Christmas together here in Chicago. We're going to get a Christmas tree and make a gingerbread house and be big nerds about it.

There are a million things to tell you guys, but I have to get back to watching clinical skills videos, and look at some Netter flashcards. This week is going to be the total shitter in terms of school-work. I have everything planned out, including when I'm going to Walgreen's and what day I'm doing laundry. Yikes! This Friday I'll turn 26. I can't believe it.

Love until later,
Kate
 




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