The Slick Adventures of Downtown Girl

Let Her Cry...or Not

Sunday, October 22, 2006 | posted by Kate | permalink | |

On Bended Knee?

So today in Walgreen's they were playing the Boyz II Men favorite: "On Bended Knee."

(For those of you not as nerdy as me, it is about a man asking a woman to come back to him, and he's on bended knee, so it's not just a cute title.)

Today, in the cosmetics aisle, I realized that in my heart, I didn't wish anymore that my STBX would "break down" and ask me back; that he would get on one knee like he did the evening he asked me to marry him; that he would start to send me large boxes (yes those long, long boxes) of long-stemmed roses with love notes written on those tiny cards. For the record, he knew that everytime someone else got a box of those roses (in college or at work or whatever) that I would go totally berserk--and he never sent any like that. Trivial things, I know. I guess I could be made out to sound like a money-grubbing biatch, but I would have accepted one perfect rose at any point from him. Just one. Beautiful. Rose. Not 36 if he couldn't afford it. Just one.

I remember I got a huge, gorgeous bouquet of flowers at the office when a friend thought I was angry at him--it had large pink, yellow, orange and white blossoms and was amazingly beautiful. In contrast, my STBX would catch a whiff of my fury and cower.

Tell Me I'm The Only One (Well, not quite!)

I don't think that I am that difficult for a man to please! Seriously (Um, the clitoris? J/K friends. Kind of. But seriously.) Dating wise, any man I'm into romantically who wants to step up to the plate and offer me his love, support and occasional flowers, receives all kinds of appreciation from me. When I'm smitten with someone, I know I do this wide-eyed, deer-in-the-headlights thing, which is the unmistakable "I'm crazy about you." This either proves irresistable or terrifying to the man.

I'm careful to not do that until I know that the guy is totally digging me, but I think it shows in other ways--the way I'll let him pull me in his arms, the way I'll squeeze his hand when he grabs mine, the way my heart leaps when he calls me (and the subsequent high-pitched voice).
Even though I am not traditionally a fan of public displays of affection, I want to meet someone that I feel confident cuddling with on the sidewalk. Someone who I will let hold me wherever he wants.

Bottom line? I am ready to be adored! The first step is adoring myself, and then being adorable.

If I can get into school soon I will feel MUCH more adorable, haha.

Nap, Party of One

I have been letting my fabulous self nap if I feel tired or overwhelmed or just plain exhausted. I will curl up under my light green quilt that a girlfriend gave me, snuggle up with Kermit the Frog (Hi, Ho! Is that frog calling me a HO??!) and slip away for an hour. I never let myself do this before and it has been really nice.

Will Vomit Show on a Dark Gray Suit?

So the interviews are tomorrow and Tuesday. I am confident, excited, nervous and anxious. Tonight I have to iron and pack my bag, pack my brain, and know that I am going to do the best I can. I have a brand new suit--it fits me beautifully (and is three different sizes, ladies, try on the pieces like the skirt and the jacket and the button up in two sizes, each to get length, fit, etc) and looks very professional. Now I just need the words to match.

Love Until Later.
K